You can't special order awesome
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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