Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
