i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
