God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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