My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
