I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did we literally take a cab across the street
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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