this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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