i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
