i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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