I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
