thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He better not be in your backpack
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
