I got chris browned last night
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
