yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He felt like a one man threesome
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
