Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
