All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
