then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
