i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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