remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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