You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
