guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
