When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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