I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
