If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
