you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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