I wish you could order shots online.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
