well I can't set my house on fire every night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
my liver is dry heaving
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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