I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
