He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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