Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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