I didn't shave. On purpose
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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