Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
