closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
