y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
