Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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