apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. đ
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled âfive times and I still havenât gotten offâ when he was still inside me ..
Said âdonât worry Iâll get myself off tomorrowâ to top it all off
Iâd say they were worth it. He screamed âyour tits are fanfuckingtastic!âwhile he was cumming
Randomize
