Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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