Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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