I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish you could order shots online.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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