Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize