We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
