kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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