a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
