apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
