So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
