My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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