My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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