Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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