My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
