i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
