Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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