Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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