i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Enjoy the penises
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
