Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your cock deserves a montage
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
