He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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