so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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