whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
