I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
