every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
