Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
