No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
they need to just BURY HIM!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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