ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize