man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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