just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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