My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
