i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
