I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
