You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
