Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
